They should have a tourism lane on the sidewalk like the street has a bike lane. ft. Derek Gaines
Summary
Derek Gaines has a solution for New York's sidewalk chaos: a tourism lane, just like the bike lane in the street. He's tired of people staring at their phones or gawking at the Macy's lights while he's trying to get to work. What follows is a masterclass in what Gaines calls "social terrorism," the kind that doesn't hurt anyone but frays everyone's nerves. Showtime dancers? Social terrorism. Clipping nails on the train? Social terrorism. Someone blasting their cousin's mixtape on a JBL speaker or eating a tuna sandwich underground? You guessed it. Kareem loves the idea so much they riff on extending it to airlines, where crying babies get their own designated plane. The conversation spirals into increasingly specific complaints about city living, from hippie parents with baby-backpacks to speakerphone conversations about Tropicana juice. Pure New York frustration, channeled perfectly.
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Full Transcript
So, what's your take? I think they should have a tourism lane on the sidewalk like the street has a bike lane.
100% agree. Because I can't stand people looking down in their phone or looking up at the Macy's lights or the trees or whatever. Like—
Mother, we live here. A fast lane or a jaded express lane for us. Because if there's a lane, then you can get over and do your thing. And you want to put like a literal—
Mom, Donnie need to implement a lane on the sidewalk so people who ain't really about that hustle can get over to the right and you can look at everything. You can get your little cupcake by Melissa. You can get your papaya dog. But me, I got to get to work. You understand what I'm saying? All this tourism in front of people and you don't act like somebody's behind you is an act of social terrorism. Social terrorism doesn't harm anybody but their nerves. Remember that. Nobody really gets hurt. Everybody's nerves are just worked. There's levels of social terrorism, right? Looking on your phone while walking up some steps, social terrorism. Or you on a speaker phone with your baby daddy talking about all the juice at the bottom of the Tropicana bottle. Social terrorism. Do you understand what I'm saying? Showtime dancers. That's midlevel social terrorism.
Farting in public. Social terrorism.
Clipping your nails on the train. Oh, social ter—
Eating a salad on the train.
Eating a tuna sandwich on the train.
Coming on the train with a JBL speaker. Bumping your cousin's radio. Social terrorism. At least play something we all know or give them a new car like the party car. Everyone can bring their speaker in the same car.
That's fire.
Yeah, that would be a fun ride.
If we saying that, then they need a plane where all new parents can bring their crying kid.
I agree with that. Right. Shout out to those hippie parents that bring the baby on a plane with the comforter made into a book bag and then they crying and carrying on because you didn't give them the right prenatal care because you, you know, you natural. That's social terrorism. You understand it, right? I don't even know you can say the T word like that, but I'm—I'm putting social in front of it.
So, you know, social terrorism.
Yo, man, this has been very insightful. I really appreciate you very much. You're very galvanizing, young man. I appreciate you, man. This is great. This is absolutely great. Galvanizing is the right word. I don't know. I don't know what galvanizing.
Yeah, I think it's a good word. Thank you, my brother. Give me that.
Yeah. Galvanize.