Emojis are the best invention of the 21st century
Summary
A subway rider defends emojis as the 21st century's greatest invention, and Kareem's fully on board. The conversation quickly spirals from wholesome intergenerational communication into wildly inappropriate territory when the rider admits she sent her 77-year-old aunt a soap and eggplant emoji combo. The aunt thought it was sweet. It wasn't. What follows is an unhinged tour through emoji double meanings, elderly relatives with dentures removed, and whether the salsa dancing lady looks like she's about to have digestive issues. They land on the sleepy drooling face. That's "grandpa emoji." The rider's thesis holds: emojis let you speak your own language, and sometimes that language is absolutely filthy while appearing totally innocent.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? Emojis are the best invention of the 21st century.
100% agree. I am pro emoji. They're the best.
Especially when you're talking to a different generation. They are the least divisive method of communicating. Like my aunt, for instance, she saw me on TV two weeks ago and she wrote me a message on WhatsApp and she said, "Uh, congrats Hazel. Saw you on TV. You look like you have great personal hygiene."
What did you write back? I wrote back a soap emoji and an eggplant. She's 77.
Why did you give her the eggplant? Because she doesn't know what it is. So you were just trolling.
Yeah. That's what makes emojis so great. You can troll older people and they don't know. Because I sent soap emoji and eggplant emoji. Meaning you need to get your mouth washed out with soap and suck my dick to your grandma.
To my aunt. Not to my grandma. She's dead. I would never write that to her.
She's a skeleton. No. Grandmas be given good slop.
Oh yeah. Grandmas and granddaddies, they go take out those dentures.
Yeah, they take out the dentures. They got that super suck 5,000. That skeleton suck.
But what I'm saying is you can speak your own language using your emojis. It's like interpretation of art.
What's your favorite emoji to use? I really like salsa dancing lady.
Oh yeah. I, you know, I feel like she's a little she looks like she's one fizzy drink away from a diarrhea attack. I just like this guy.
The sleepy Egyptian. What is it? What is it?
No, it's like that sad guy that's like— I like the one that is like half face is paralyzed, half face is horny looking.
Oh, that guy. Yes, I know exactly who you're talking about. What about this guy? He's drooling and he's like this.
That's granddaddy suck face. That's grandpa emoji. But you know what I mean. So if you send this, it's never going to be offensive. Am I right? Water gun peach.