If you're tall and you can't dunk we're the same height
Summary
A tall stranger presents a controversial theory: if you're tall and can't dunk, you're the same height as short people. His logic? Since the invention of the ladder, the only real reason to be tall is dunking in an NBA game. Kareem pushes back hard, defending his 5'12" stature and suggesting the guy take up rapping or limbo instead. The rider insists dunking is "one of the most beautiful things" and a necessary condition for tallness, even admitting it's physically impossible for him personally. The conversation spirals into absurdist territory when he claims he's actually a 12-year-old boy and it's illegal to film him without parental consent. Kareem tries motivating him with movie logic about little guys achieving the impossible, but the stranger remains unconvinced about his dunking prospects.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? I think if you're tall and you can't dunk, we're the same height.
100% disagree. That makes no sense. What do you mean? I think that I cannot dunk. So, you're 5'5. And we are not the same height. We are ostensibly 5'5.
Look, short kings are always trying to make excuses. What do you mean? I'm tall. You're short. End of story. But the only point to being tall is to dunk and to get girls. Since the invention of the ladder, the only real reason to be tall is to be able to dunk in an NBA game. And if you're not taking advantage of that, you are a short man.
How often do you fantasize about slam dunking? A lot. Just cuz I think it's a good way to get emotion out. I think it's a good way to feel your feelings.
Just start rapping. Just become a rapper or do something that's good for short people like limbo. It's not about being short versus tall. It's not that I want to bring tall people down. I'm just saying there is one necessary condition in my mind to be considered tall.
The science says I'm 5'12. What else can you do that I can't do? I reached the top shelf ladder. At concerts, I'm vibing. I can be in the back.
People hate you at concerts. No. No. That's why I stand in the back. I'm a nice guy. I think that dunking is one of the most beautiful things.
Stop talking about dunking, you freak. That was my take. Are you actually like a 12-year-old boy that has a beard that just keeps talking about dunking? You invited me on the show and it's actually illegal to film me without my parents consent.
I got a plan for you. Okay.
Go online. Okay.
Type in like training for dunking. Yeah.
For short guys. Yeah. Yeah. I think you can do it. It's physically impossible for me to dunk.
That is not impossible. I am 28. My physical prime is past me. Brother, you can do anything that you put your mind to.
Except dunk. That's not true. I believe in you, young man. I believe in you, my little boy.
Haven't you seen movies? Yeah. No, I've seen a couple.
Yeah, movies. This always happens. Little boys. The little guys, I can't do it. I can't do it. Guess what? In the movie, they did. Yeah. Okay, that's true.
Anyways, I still disagree. Okay.