We should normalize comfortable silences and eye contact. Feat Tunde Adebimpe
Summary
Tunde Adebimpe from TV On The Radio thinks we should normalize comfortable silences and eye contact with strangers. Kareem's not convinced. The conversation quickly spirals into an awkward experiment where both men try to sit in silence while staring at each other, sunglasses off, attempting to beam love across the subway car. It doesn't last long. Tunde admits he does make brief eye contact when ordering coffee or getting on the train, but extending that second to fifteen seconds requires practice. They try again, this time role-playing a car ride where one passenger won't shut up, then escalating to declarations of love. The whole thing's absurd and uncomfortable, which might be exactly Tunde's point about why we need to get better at this.
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Full Transcript
So, what's your take? We should normalize, uh, comfortable silences and eye contact while we engage in these comfortable silence. 100% disagree.
Really? I'm so sorry. You—you the pauses that you were taking in between those words were making me uncomfortable. It bummed you out.
You were like, "What's happening right now?" Yeah. I was like, "Where's this guy going with this? Where's it going?"
Have you tried it? Have you tried to just comfortably like look at—look at both of this? Like, I can't. Let me see your eyes. Okay. It's beautiful. You got beautiful eyes.
Thank you very much. Not ashamed to say that. Yeah. You want me to keep them off the whole time?
Keep them off. Okay. I'll keep them off the whole time. So, we're going to engage in a comfortable silence.
All right. No eye contact, too. [Music] Shut the fuck up. I don't want to do it anymore. See how long—I was I was shooting like love beams just now.
There was—No, we got to humanize each other. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, we do—you take a portrait.
It's a portrait. Oh, this is really nice, actually.
Okay. Okay. If you can do this with strangers, then you're—we're evolving. Well, what I do intentionally when I'm like ordering coffee or a sandwich or getting on the train, I do look people in the eye, but only for a second. Only for a second. I don't want to sit and—but—
Well, no, no, no. But I feel like if we normalized it, you know, he could extend the second to like, you know, 15 seconds. So, we have to practice. Let's give it a second try. Okay. So, what's your take? Put these back on.
Oh, no, no, no, no. I didn't offend you, did I? No, you haven't offended me. It's just if I'm not—if I'm not—if I'm not looking at you, I want to be able to see you. So, if I'm in a car, I'm driving. Put yours back on, too.
Oh, no. No. I'll leave them off. I'm feeling comfortable. I'm in a car. I'm driving. Yeah. The music's playing.
Yeah. I'm looking at the road. Yeah. I—There's a passenger.
Yeah. They start talking. I'm like, "Shut the fuck up." All right. Cuz I'm zoned. I'm focused. That sound of silence is nice, right?
But in the middle of a conversation. Yes. I love that. I love how it feels. It feels great to me.
Hold on. Wait. Let's try again. In the middle of a conversation. Okay. Let's—Let's talk. We're talking. Let's talk. We're talking. How are you today?
I'm great. The sports teams are doing fantastic surf in the world. You know, all the sports, the mess of the sports. And what I like, I kind of want to kiss you. I'm saying—I'm saying I love you. I love you. I really love you.
I love you, too. I love you so much. I love you. [Music]