We need to filter people who are able to move to NYC via a test
Summary
A straphanger proposes filtering NYC newcomers through an MTA navigation test: three fares, no GPS, figure out your route. Kareem pushes back. The conversation spirals into nostalgic territory as the rider reminisces about leaving home with four quarters in the '90s, claiming kids back then were more adult than today's grownups just from subway skills alone. They trade rapid-fire route challenges. Central Park to Brooklyn Museum? Take the Q. Canal to Empire State? Multiple options. The test expands beyond trains into a broader gatekeeping philosophy: can you walk fast, climb stairs without huffing, text while moving through crowds? The rider insists real New Yorkers know which stations to avoid at night, name-dropping Broadway Junction as sketchy after dark. Kareem loves Broadway Junction, naturally.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? We need to filter people who are able to move to NYC via a test to get in.
To get in. 100% disagree. Wait, you don't even know what the test is yet.
What's on the test? Test is simple. It's an MTA test.
Oh, 100% disagree. We're going to give you three fares, no GPS, and you got to figure out how to get to your destination on your own. I don't think that makes you a good New Yorker.
That does make you a New Yorker. I was born and raised here. The MTA?
Yeah, bro. In the '90s, I would leave my house with four quarters. I'm just saying back in my day.
Back in my day. All right, think of it this way, right? I used to leave my house and be like, "My mommy and I, never know if I was going to see her again." That's true. Back then, I wasn't around back then.
Wasn't around. But I heard a kid from the '90s was more of an adult than adults are today just based on being able to take the train. That's true. You were well versed. You could be like, "You know what? I didn't know how to take this bus." You have to remember a transfer. You have to remember where to transfer. You have to remember who you was going to see. Now you get to scroll every two seconds. And when you're lost, you call an Uber.
Do you know everything right now? I can take the train without even looking. How do I get to the Brooklyn Museum from Central Park?
Which train do you want to take? A number or a letter? I don't care.
Pick a— Okay. A number.
Take the Q. That's a letter.
I'm making sure you was listening. They want to get from Canal Street to the Empire State Building. Oh, that's easy. You could literally go catch the Q or you could go catch the B or D. Depending on which direction you want to walk from Canal, but I would just catch the Q, go right to 34th, and then walk from there.
How do I get to JFK? First of all, why you go to JFK?
I'm leaving. They kicked— Oh, you failed the test already.
Failed the test, bro. I got Google Maps on my phone. I think we should add a couple more things to the test. All right, let's be a walking test.
Oh, I love that. Like, can you walk fast? Can you go up the stairs fast? Can you walk without texting?
Yeah, elderly people exempt obviously. No, I know some old New Yorkers, elderly people that walk faster than the young people. It all should be what train stations to avoid. A New Yorker knows where they're going to get robbed as well. We like, "All right, Broadway Junction. We don't want to go there at night."
I love Broadway Junction. Yeah. See, you like living life on the—