We should gossip more
Summary
Gossip builds trust, according to a straphanger who challenges Kareem's skepticism with an unexpected defense of what's usually considered trashy talk. She traces the word's etymology back to women gathering to discuss scripture and home life, arguing it was always a defense network where women warned each other about dangerous men. Kareem resists. He thinks gossip means saying "Becky's a dumb" something or other, not sharing useful information like restaurant food poisoning warnings. But his conversation partner insists that word-of-mouth transfer, whether it's about salaries or Signal messages, counts as gossip, and civilization was built on it. The debate gets tangled in definitions, with Kareem admitting he has no idea what she's saying when she talks about attaching to historical lore to validate lived experience. She won't back down though. More gossip means better negotiations, safer streets, and smarter choices.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? We should gossip more.
100% disagree. Gossip builds trust.
Gossip is bad. No, gossip has the connotation of sheep talking, but one man talk is another woman's safety net.
One employer's talk is another employees safety net.
Elaborate more on the safety net. Okay, look, etymologically, gossip comes from—
What does etymologically mean? The lineage of where the word came from.
Thank you. Gossip comes from gossip. Women would gather to talk about scripture. They would then talk about the dynamics of the home. And then women gathering, women gossiping led to the negative connotation that it has now. But it was always kind of a defense network.
They were like, "Watch out for that guy." Yes.
Is that really—is that what it is? Okay. So, three grad students told me this in my class and I couldn't actually vet if it's true, but I don't think it matters.
Sounds like gossip to me. We're attaching ourselves to historical lore to validate a lived experience.
I literally have no idea what you're saying. If you are using Signal, if you are using disappearing messages, you are gossiping.
I only use Signal and vanishing messages to do illegal stuff. But illegal stuff is also gossiping.
What if I'm like, "We should meet here so I can buy some blow."
I mean— It's not gossip.
No, but we're like transferring something through word of mouth. Think about all the things you learn through word of mouth that you wouldn't have known otherwise. Like this restaurant gave me food poisoning.
That's not gossip. Yes, it is.
That's just information. Maybe there needs to be a new word for like information sharing. Cuz to me, gossip sounds like Becky's a dumb—
which I don't want to do. I don't want to do that.
If you believe that— No, I don't believe that.
That's great. Gossip is like, "Hey, I heard that guy has a big penis."
That's one form of gossip, but it's also like, "Oh my god, did you hear that this person makes X amount?" Yeah.
And then we can then decide, oh, maybe I should be getting paid more. I can negotiate a higher thing. Whatever it is, civilization was built on social transfer. We need more gossip, more word of mouth.