Bill Burr Says Stop Blaming Immigrants, Blame Billionaires

How you doing? I'm doing good. How are you?

I'm pretty good.

I love the subway.

You do?

Yes.

How often do you take it?

I every time.

You take it every day?

Well, Bloomberg messed up all the streets. He put tables and chairs in the middle of the streets.

Those [__]

'Cause he went to Europe for some Illuminati meeting and he was like, "You know, I like this Amsterdam." Even though our city is not set up like that whatsoever, and it's a completely different country. Let's do what they're doing.

I'm surprised he didn't set up a canal.

Well, yeah. Yeah. Dig up Canal Street. That's the next thing he's going to do. And make a waterway again.

That's not a bad idea. You know, young people are calling Manhattan these days.

They call it Work Island.

Work Island?

Yeah. Okay.

This is not for fun.

I don't know that it was ever fun.

Well, you live here. You live on Work Island. I suggest you move to Brooklyn.

No, I'm not going to be another white guy that moves to Brooklyn and ruins a neighborhood.

You would be amongst your peers. They're already all ruined, dude. You live in Hudson Yards, right? You live on that sculpture.

Yes.

They actually built that for me.

Yeah.

That's my white privilege. Even though I haven't really done anything, they still built me a sculpture. Do you know they had to shut that down 'cause people were jumping to their deaths?

Yeah, 'cause they saw it and they said, "Fuck it. I'm out. That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen."

Yeah. Was that for like the lazy suicide person? Because you could really jump from anything in New York. You know what? I bet per capita this is probably the most jump to your death. Oh, that's a bad thing to bring up. Sorry.

Historically speaking. Yes, it is. It's a fact. All right. It got dark quick. Do we even—we went to one stop. [Music]

I got a real question for you.

Yes.

What's your take?

My take is that when they get rid of all the illegals in this country, white billionaires will then magically become generous and start paying people a living wage because they inadvertently got rid of their excuse as to why they're not paying people.

100% disagree.

You do?

Yeah.

Okay.

Why would they all of a sudden start paying? Because it's the illegal aliens' fault. That's why.

So what's the problem?

They need to come to this country the right way. The way my people came here.

On a boat.

Yeah. With flowers and welcoming everybody. That's the way you do it.

You're Pilgrim-blooded, right?

Yeah, I think. Yeah. You go back a couple generations. Yeah. My people had a belt buckle right on the front of their hat. That's the way you do it.

Turkey boys. Thanksgiving boys. That was the name of their gang. They were the Turkey Boys. Yeah. [Music]

That's what you do. You come here and then you murder everybody that's here and then whoever's not—whoever's left, you try to enslave them, but they know the land too well. And then you go to Africa and you [__] bring a bunch of people over, have them do all the work.

Torture, rape. That's—that's—that's the right way to do it. That's the right way. That's how you come here. You don't jump over a fence and start picking almonds in the Central Valley for two dollars.

He's doing—you're doing a bit. We're on the train.

Huh?

He's doing a bit. I'm just making sure everyone knows you're doing a bit.

Oh, wait. This is a serious show?

No, this is not a serious show. This is the stupidest show in the world.

So I can't joke around.

We're joking. I'm just letting everyone else know that we're joking.

So you thought it was so not funny that you had to tell them that I was doing a joke?

I mean, a lot of people on this train are just going to work. We're two guys.

Oh, look at you [__] lunch pail Larry over here. A lot of these people, they're just trying to go to work.

You know, I read somewhere that Bill Burr at age 57, no offense—

Why would I be offended by that? At least I know what four seasons feel like.

The hotel?

No, you don't have spring and fall anymore. I had that for 40 years.

But I read somewhere that around age 57, Bill Burr has uh—

—eased up a bit. He's more relaxed guy. You don't seem—

—compared to old me.

Yeah.

I don't seem relaxed. I'm sitting here with my legs crossed. What? First of all, you—you—you have been [__] argumentative. The second we [__] sat down going, "What is this? People trying to go to work. You're doing a bit." And then you [__] get me all right. This is what people do. Look at your dirty [__] pants. This is a show.

What's really dirty?

What are you talking about? That [__]—whatever that stain is on your leg. I got to look at that this whole [__] interview. It's okay.

Why do you think I'm trying to rile you up?

Listen, dude. That's between you and your therapist.

I never rile people up. I've never had this review. I want to hang out. So it's me, I guess.

Tell me about hanging out.

You know, I'm starting to understand how this is going to be edited through.

It's going to be edited straight through.

Why is there three [__] cameras?

Well, that guy's on you. She's on me. That guy's getting B-roll.

B-roll is the lying roll. That's how you—you know, when I say a bunch of [__] then they just cut to you going—

—nodding like that.

That's me agreeing. Yes.

And then it comes back into me. And that's why I like Hitler.

What? What happened?

There's the clip. There's the clip. You go. [Music]

Some of your jokes are about how everyone is mad at everyone else. Right now, this is a time where people are mad at each other. This guy's mad at that guy. That guy's mad at this guy. And no one's mad at the right people.

Yeah. They have states hating other states. You know, people in red states don't like California. People in California don't like Texas. And like somewhere along the line we missed that it's the United States.

And that with that we're we're all on the same team. And uh, I wish, you know, people had the time to travel more because the thing that I've learned going to all 50 states and going around the world is is like people—the people that are on this thing right—aside from this occasional crazy person—are cool. And all they, you know, they don't want, you know, a whole mountain of money. They want enough. They want to be happy and they want to have enough money for food. They want to feel safe. It's a very simple wants. And these psychos at the top, they just get everybody all stirred up. This guy's causing riots in American cities. And you know, there's people trying to get to their apartments and they're getting shot with rubber bullets. And we are so divided because of CNN and Fox News that as long as the bullets are going at the countrymen that are wearing the wrong tie, you somehow don't view them as on your team anymore. And it's a really dangerous time. It's really dangerous and I don't think it's by accident and I don't understand what they're doing. So I have faith though that through things like this and social media, you know, 'cause you've seen it's brought down regimes around, you know, the world that we can get on the same page. But one of the things I hate the most, people will write things like, "I will never forgive people that voted for Trump." And it's just like, "Well, now you just caused division."

Yeah. You want to bring them over. You know what I mean? It's like, well, you also just voted for a guy that should have been in a [__] home. You know, he's on his back porch talking to himself as, you know what I mean? You you also did that. So it's like, we've all made mistakes. And it's just like, it's okay to be like, yeah, hey, I thought the guy was going to do this, now he's doing that.

You know, I saw a great tweet the other day that said, "I wish Joe Biden was alive to see this."

Do you have any advice for a new dad?

Y