Bring It Back to the Old New York! F*** These Bike Lanes
Summary
Bring it back to the old New York. That's the battle cry from an anonymous rider who wants to tear out the bike lanes, ignore pedestrian signals, and restore what he sees as the city's authentic chaos. Kareem listens as the guy explains how real New Yorkers don't wait for "Don't Walk" signs because "common sense tells you to" just look both ways. The rant spirals into a manifesto about breaking rules: hop the turnstile, drive solo in HOV lanes, stop being courteous. His philosophy? He loves that everyone else follows the rules because it makes life easier for people like him who don't. It's nostalgia for lawlessness, wrapped in the conviction that Copenhagen-style civility has no place in New York.
Full Transcript
So what's your take? Bring it back to the old New York, man. [Censored] these bike lanes, [censored], [censored], [censored], anything pedestrian, you know what I'm saying? Havoc in the streets.
Yeah, take the bike lane away, bro. Give a [censored] ride like they used to, bro. This ain't Copenhagen.
Wait, so what do they do like they used to, bro? You don't remember when it—
I don't remember at all. Don't wait for the "Don't Walk" signs. Listen, that's how we know you're not from New York, 'cause real New Yorkers don't wait for—we look both ways like [censored]. Common sense tells you to.
What do you think about stop signs? Stop signs? All right, I can deal with them. What else do we—what other rules do we break?
Listen, man, don't be courteous. Don't be court—it's [censored] your life, you know what I'm saying? Hop the turnstile once in your life. Stop being [censored] all your life, you know what I'm saying? Then for [censored], live life, bro. Stop following the rules. I love that everybody follows the rules, you know why? 'Cause it makes life easier for people like me that don't follow the rules. Like the HOV lanes—I love car—yeah, I'm driving them shits by myself all the time. What—