Cathy Cohen — You Can’t Text Someone Just "hey" and Say Nothing Else
Summary
Cathy Cohen has strong opinions about text message etiquette, and she's not holding back. You can't just text someone "hey" with nothing else. Period. That's blocking territory. Cohen and Kareem bond over the horrors of vague scheduling requests ("are you available on this date" without context is a bait and switch) and debate breakup protocols. One or two dates? Text is fine. Six months? Absolutely not. Cohen suggests writing a letter for the romantically inclined, though that sparks its own debate about response times. They also tackle the bizarre pre-kiss "hey" that people apparently do, agreeing you should just close your eyes and pucker up instead.
Featured guests
Full Transcript
So what's your take? You can't text someone just "hey" and say nothing else. 100% agree. And if I can follow up, you can't ask someone "are you available on this date" without telling them why you're asking them, because that's a bait and switch.
Exactly. All of a sudden you say "I am available that date" and then they're like "come to my birthday party."
Exactly. It's in Miami. That's what I'm saying, but it's like I'm available depending on what you need me for, right?
That's called boundaries and respect. Yeah, and people need to have those things.
What about punctuation? Like "hey." Period. I'm blocking. Oh, I would block out from fear if I got a text "hey." Period. It's the scariest thing in the world.
Punctuation. What about "we need to talk"? "We need to talk." I think is fine if we do need to talk. Like, I know if somebody sends me "we need to talk," I know that they need to talk.
Would you rather "we need to talk" or a random phone call out of nowhere? Phone call. 100%. I love phone calls.
Yeah. I love a phone call. Bring back phone calls. Bring back phone calls. You never know what you're going to get.
Yeah. What's your text etiquette? Do you say hi? I'm saying "hi darling," "hi baby," "hi Angel." Oh, you add an effect.
I text with warmth and love, but I don't—I don't capitalize.
Come on in. Come on. Welcome. Don't worry about it. Welcome to the show. Do you think that people can break up via text? If you've been on like one or two dates, yeah, who cares? But like a six-month relationship? No, that's terrain.
What if you're a better writer than a speaker? Then write them a letter. You wouldn't mind getting broken up with with a damn letter?
That'd be so romantic and an amazing story. No, because you can't—you can't respond. It's going to take three and a half weeks. I'm going to write you a letter.
Don't write me a letter. Don't write a letter. Hey. No. Oh, it feels so—oh. You know what else I hate? I hate when someone goes in for a kiss, or before, and they pull away and they go "hey."
Has that ever happened to you? No.
Hey. That's said Zoe Dasel move. Or like right before you're about to kiss, like "hi." I think before you're about to kiss, you shouldn't say or do anything other than close your eyes and pucker your lips. I totally agree.
Agree. 100% agree.