Space is none of our business
Summary
Space is none of our business," one straphanger declares, kicking off a wild debate about whether humanity should fix Earth before chasing aliens. Kareem pushes back hard. The rider insists we're "taking the L as a species" by prioritizing space over solving homelessness and war, comparing the moon landing to an unnecessary trip to Bushwick. Things escalate quickly. The conversation careens from FOMO about space travel to dating as a Muslim ("I'm going to date an alien?") to Nazi billionaires to a campaign platform: Make Earth Great Again. By the end, they've agreed on a ticket for president of Earth, with plans to recruit brilliant aliens and spread Islam through the galaxy. Space Muslims, coming soon.
Full Transcript
So, what's your take? Space is none of our business. 100% disagree. I—I'm trying to get to space.
You want to get to space? Of course I want to get to space.
Why? Because it's cool. But it has nothing to do with our lives.
'Cause you can't go. You're jealous. No, I don't want to go to space. I think you do want to go to space.
No, I want to fix Earth. Okay, that's a good point. We could easily fix Earth. But everybody's trying to go to space. But why? Earth is still good.
Because I think Earth has become mid. No, man. We're—see, this is what we're—so thirsty for aliens. It's so embarrassing that we want to go up there so bad. Bro, I have FOMO.
You want to go up there with the—the Nazi billionaires and— No, I don't want to go with the Nazi billionaires. I'm pro space exploration.
You're out. You don't think we needed to go to the moon? No. It's ridiculous.
Why? What? For what? To check it out, man. It's like going to Bushwick. I've never been. You could just take the L. We are taking the L as a species by going to space.
So, you're not curious what's—you don't want an alien or something? No, I don't want an alien. I don't want—bro, why are you so upset, bro? I have a tough time dating non-Muslim people. I'm going to date an alien. Are there Muslim aliens? Probably not. I mean, Allah is the Lord of the universe. I just feel like there's all these things on Earth that are like easily solvable with money. They'll be like, "It's $5 billion to end homelessness." But then every time you see that, they're like, "Yo, bro, we just went to space with that money. I'm so sorry. Like, I don't know what to tell you."
It's true. No more going to space until you fix homelessness and there's no more wars.
Okay. You know what? I can get behind this. Earth first. Make America great. Make Earth great again. Make Earth great again. Run for president. I need to be president of the world, I think, to get this across.
There should be a new position. There should be president of the world. Yes. There should be a—a representative of Earth on the universal scale.
Do you have a pitch for who it could be? Me. I'm going to space to recruit really smart, brilliant aliens. I'm bringing them back to fix our problems. They're like, "Take me to your leader." And then they're on the—and then—like, I have a take.
Yeah, I think this is a good idea. I guess that is now my take also is Kareem for president of Earth. You can be vice president. We're spreading Islam through the galaxy. That sounds like a fun movie. Space Muslims.