They Need to Bring Fighting Back to the NBA
Summary
A straphanger wants fighting back in the NBA, specifically the 1990s-era brawls where teams hired guys like Rick Mahorn just to throw hands. Kareem warns him about getting called "unk" in the comments for not knowing his basketball history. The conversation spirals into TikTok's looming ban, how young people decide whether to rob you on the street, and the rider's survival strategy of pretending to be Kenan Thompson from SNL. He's 46 and unbothered. The take about violence in sports gets overshadowed by riffs on aging, social media mortality, and the very real fear of Gen Z. It's chaotic wisdom from someone who claims AOL is still there for him while the rest of us jump platforms like desperate rats.
Full Transcript
So what's your take? They need to bring fighting back to the NBA. 100% agree. But was there ever fighting? You said fighting back. The whole '90s was fights. They were fighting on the—there were wars on the court. Teams would have a guy whose only job it was was to whoop at like, who—Dennis was Dennis Rodman? Not even Dennis Rodman. Rick Mahorn? I don't know Rick Mahorn. I don't know anything about—
You need to know your history, bro. This is the kind of take where people are going to call you unk in the comments. That's fine. Young people love teasing Black men in their for—for being old. I made it. Let's see if you get the 46. Instead of calling me a—you should be coming up to me and going, "What is your secrets for living this long?" Enjoy your 90 to 92 basketball game with no tensions. I don't know anything about basketball.
What do you know about TikTok? You're not going to know much about it if they ban this [shit] in a couple weeks. I'm probably going to be the last one. This is going to be—how's it feel to me to be your last guest before the end of TikTok?
I'm honored that you're last guy. Yeah, I think it's beautiful. Mother is call me. At least I'm not hopping from social media platform to platform looking for friends. America Online is still here for me. At least I can still go to the places I got in the '90s. Long [shit]—call me a lonely [shit]. Young people call oldheads unk out of respect, but I call young as young men out of fear.
You're afraid of them? I go the other way or I come up to them. I go, "Life is coming fast. You got to give him advice real quick." Make them think you're crazy and then they run away. They dispers—they don't run. They just stare at you for a minute, decide whether or not to rob you, and then one of them go, "Oh man, I know you from Saturday Night Live." I pretend to be Kenan Thompson. That's what's kept me safe in New York. Take a picture with him and everything. I don't give a shit.