Charlize Theron Defends Her 5 Most Controversial Takes

Holy moly, that's cool.

Can I please make love to you? Is that what you do?

Quick question. What is the purpose of this dog?

Talk a little faster, pal.

Yeah.

Nice. Nice.

What should we do? Jesus.

I'm late. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi, everyone.

She's early. Charlies is early.

No,

she's really early. We have to leave.

No, she's waiting at the

We have to go meet her at the subway. No,

I'm not kidding. She's genuinely early.

I can't tell if you guys are joking or not.

I'm not joking. She's genuinely ready.

Oh my god. I'm so sorry. Everyone need intro, the episode, the guest, the format. Today we're shooting with Charlize Theron, legendary actress, Oscar award winner, I believe.

Yes.

Fact check. How many Oscars?

Well, I know for sure Monster obviously for sure.

Great movies. She's the first ever not late guest. Anyways, I'm excited to hear Charlize's five takes. Every take gets a little hotter and um early to the worst version of Mr. Rogers that's going on right now.

And that's it.

Okay, we got to go.

Okay, bye. So, what's your take?

Um, uh, whenever a guy says, "I would like to make love to you."

It's an ick.

It's such an ick.

100% agree.

Yeah. You don't get that. That's an ick.

Just the dry heave. The little dry heave that comes with it.

This could be multiple things.

There's a lot to unpack, but actually there isn't. It's just very simple. Don't _____ say it.

Don't say love me

because my vagina closes up.

What?

Who said that?

It's true.

Somebody's shocked.

All the ladies know what I'm talking about.

Well, what is it? What is it about the word love making that is such a a turnoff?

It's I It's the It's the

I don't want you to make anything with me. I want you to do something with me.

Oh, do things.

Yeah, let's do it. Like, let's Well, don't say that either. That's _____ lame.

Just me.

Like, honestly, that's it. Like, just say that. I I know I'm not alone in this. Okay,

that's so cool.

Everybody on the subway, let's get some hands.

Holy moly, that's cool. Should we ask,

do you want love to be made to you?

Is it Is it an ick when someone says, "Please make love to me."

It is an ick.

She's going to throw up. Look, I can see.

I've been doing this all wrong my whole life. Please don't make anything, especially not love.

I I I get it. I mean, I kind of like

Do you get it? Have you ever said that before? Have you been like, I want to make love to you?

No, I've never said that. I'm not I'm not that kind of guy.

Can I please make love to you? Is that what you do?

No.

Oh, you took the shades off for this. I love it.

Yeah, I need to.

What do you say? What do you say? What is What do you say?

Me?

I don't say much. I just give a little kiss.

See, I would take that.

I go right in. Just don't. Shut up. Don't look.

Sometimes you don't have to say the words. That's what I think. Sometimes you don't have to say the words.

Don't speak too much. I think we covered it. Don't talk.

That's what we came up with. Don't talk.

Well, you can talk with your body, which is why it's called body language.

I kind of threw up at that a little bit to talk with your body.

Yeah, body language.

It's all making me very nauseous.

Are you okay? Are you dizzy on the train? Is there something wrong with the drain?

Talk with your body.

It's called body language. I understand that. That's good subway talk, but that's not good bedroom talk. Talk with your body.

No, you don't say it though. You just do it. You do it.

Okay. Do it. Doing it. You also don't help each other. We're helping each other.

What is the biggest ick? Is that the biggest ick?

I have I mean I I'm I have a few. I'm like I'm bothered by long emails. Don't write long emails. I'm not going to read them.

Even if they're love letters.

Okay. What is it? The 1940s?

No. No. I I want to go back.

Are you writing war letters?

I want to go back to the ick.

Oh. Oh, okay.

Like like like the ick.

So you have this one ick which is love making that makes your in your words your _____ dry. Is that what you said? I don't remember what you said.

Vagina.

Okay. Sorry.

My vagina dries.

My bad. Your vagina dries up.

Such a dude.

What else makes you feel like I don't like this man? That's an That's not a sexy.

This is not even a manish. This is not a man thing. I as a big man walks by. It's not a man thing. It's just in general. I just think like if you're writing an email that's longer than a paragraph,

no one has got the time to read that.

100% agree.

Like we just don't have the time to read that.

100%. Long emails. If I get a long

Well, if I get a long email, I archive it.

You archive it or you put a little flag on it and then you never go back and I like need like five people to remind me. Just be concise. Like we have many other emails. It's not You're not the only person emailing me today. Many other people are emailing me.

Many other people are emailing.

And I'm also like I don't want to drive and read an email.

Could somebody zoom in on how she touched that pole?

Just one finger.

Yeah. Because I'm smart.

I'm not an idiot.

Wait, can you touch it like that?

You literally go

Yes. Like that.

Did you see how I was like gripping it like this?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. That death. Absolute death.

I mean, I feel disgusting. No, the long emails. It was a thing like I will say every once in a while I go back in my archives.

Yeah.

And I do read a beautiful well-written long email and I go, "Dang, that takes me back to like 2012. That was a nice time. This ex-girlfriend wrote me this letter about like, you know, we went to China together or whatever." And I'm like,

"Those are special people." I'm talking more about like

work people. Like, yeah.

You want an answer from me? Like, you want to know if I'm going to wear that dress? I don't. You do not need to ask me if I enjoyed the vegetable soup at the restaurant we were at five years ago.

What do you think is the best way to open an email?

Quick question. Oh,

that's it. No, that's what you start with. You go. Quick question.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Quick question. Just get to it.

I think if I was writing you, I would say in the subject, it would be no subject.

No, I need a subject because then I can't find it. I need a subject. I need a subject.

I had a subject. Subway takes.

Yes, I need a subject.

Subway takes interview. And then the email would say R like with a just a regular R

like I'm a teenager. Yeah. Mhm.

Down but like a arrow down.

One sentence.

Wait, what was the end of it?

Are you down to do it?

To do it.

The show.

Oh,

the show. Are you down to do the show?

Yes, I'm totally down for doing the show.

You know who writes long emails?

Who? Oh,

and he likes them.

You do? Okay. Got

very bookish. I can't help it.

And you know, and you know, he knows that I don't read them.

Oh, really? He still does it.

He still does it.

And he knows I don't read them. He goes, "Did you read my email?" And he goes, "Of course you didn't." And I go, "Of course I didn't." I want to show you one that he was so proud of yesterday. He was so proud of that he screenshotted his email and sent it to me.

Look at this.

Oh my god, that's crazy.

Look how proud he is.

Oh, it's Oh my god, it's three pages.

Very well composed. It's three pages.

I don't think we can be friends. I was really hoping.

Yeah. Well, natural.

And now I kind of want to read it.

Read the first.

Thanks, Ian.

Cuz it's an exclamation point.

Thanks, Ian.

That makes me friendly, Peter.

I want to ask you a very basic question to start already. Horrible. That's just to start.